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If You'll Be My Friend

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If You’ll Be My Friend
By Theresa Heitz, Sept. 2004

If you’ll be my friend, there’s something you must know.
I’m not the friend I used to be, I wish it were not so.

I may look like your old friend, but I am definitely someone

I used to remember your birthday, now I can barely remember
what day it is.
I used to bake you bread, now I anxiously wander through the
grocery store.
I used to answer the telephone, now I’m not up for talking.
I gaze at each sunset while thinking about Heaven.
I used to worry about everyday hassles,
Now, I long for moments filled with peace.

If you’ll be my friend, please know I’m forever changed.
Since that day in September, the day I buried my son, all
events are measured in comparison to the tragedy we suffered.

I often wonder “who would want to be my friend?”
My burden is heavy, my pain too much for many to see.
I just have to let you know, my friend, I’ve changed.

I have read that “friends become strangers and strangers
become friends”.
I know you’ll be my friend the minute that we meet.
You know my thoughts and fears.
You understand my ups and downs.
I ask nothing of you, you ask nothing of me.
While sharing the most unfathomable pain, we became friends.
You are another bereaved mom.

You may have known me “before”, or you may have met me
“after”. . .
To you, my friend, one thing I ask,
Please allow me to grieve.

If you’ll be my friend . . .